crossed fingers

Mon Sep 1

this is all i ever wanted for you

All i ever wanted for you was to be truly happy.

Not the dillusional untouchable one the one that you could taste it on your lips. its hard because that happiness is without me & all i have ever wanted is you. Its been a week without you & it has been the most disfunctional of years i have ever spent.

Sometimes I struggle to move on but im searching the world to find out that there is nobody like you. When I can’t think straight i draw to the conclusion that when you owned me: i wanted to leave you to find myself. Here is the perfect oppurtunity but i realized you were my life.

i stand here alone, souless.

& ill be lying if i said i was happy.

Sun Aug 31
Days never felt longer like this before
& all the traffic lights ahead of me are red.
*my worst enemy* = myself